Do you feel like it’s your duty to always take care of everyone?
If so, does it interfere with your own priorities?
Children and jobs require us to do unavoidable tasks, but that goes with the territory, right?
When others ask us to give our time, we as adults, can either agree to do something or we can say no.
Saying yes to people when we want to say no, is called “people pleasing”.
Are You Generous or a People Pleaser?
Talkspace.com says that “People pleasing can look an awful lot like admirably generous or helpful behavior. But there’s a difference: while true generosity comes from healthy self-regard and a genuine happiness from shared enjoyment, people pleasing comes from a place of lowered self-regard and a need for others’ approval”.
People pleasers many times are insecure in their relationships and look for external validation and approval.
Next time you commit to something, check in with yourself.
Do you want to be doing the particular task, is it contributing to your own self-care, and will it take time away from something you’d rather do?
Check Your Reasons!
You also must also look at the reasons why you may be people pleasing.
- Worry they won’t like you if you refuse.
- Feeling bored.
- Desperate for friends or attention.
- Friend might break up with you.
- The person will get upset.
- No one else can do what is asked of you.
- Feel no sense of purpose.
- Shy away from conflict.
- Feel guilty if you say no.
- Avoiding an uncomfortable feeling.
People pleasing is a choice you make, and you must decide if it’s how you want to spend your time.
Saying yes to things, that you don’t want to say yes to, can create anxiety, stress, and resentment so you must examine your reasons for why you say yes to others.
Taking care of others at the expense of your own self-care is people pleasing!
If you like your reason and are doing it from a place of love, that’s your choice.
If you weren’t spending time people pleasing and concentrated on your own self-care instead, what would you be doing?
Creating a habit of saying “no” to others and “yes” to yourself is how to start to living an intentional and deliberate life.
Think about it…
TOPIC: How To Know If You’re a People Pleaser!
If you think you are a people pleaser and would like coaching, just book a session by clicking on the calendar below.