Have you ever noticed we all have expectations of others?
Because there’s an expectation, we or others make requests to do things that we’d rather not do.
At times we worry about what others think, so we don’t say no.
After completing a task, we can feel resentful because we didn’t want to do it in the first place.
People pleasers have a tendency to say “yes” to things as they are the most dependable and the most helpful individuals in the world.
They spend their lives giving to others.
They rarely say “no” and want everyone to like them.
Saying “no” is not usually an option because it can lead to feelings of guilt.
Each time we say yes to another’s request, when we want to say no, we need to ask ourselves why we’re doing it.
Do we comply due to a fear of guilt, judgement, or maybe we won’t be liked?
Five Helpful Words!
Not long ago, I was being asked to do something I was not comfortable with, and was struggling for a solution.
I called and spoke to a coach and she had the best response:
“I Love You, And No”.
No need to explain yourself, just say those five words.
Sounds simple, right?
Just because people have expectations of us, it doesn’t mean we need to honor their requests.
We can still be friends even if we don’t meet each other’s expectations.
Once we learn to create a habit of saying “no” without caring what others think, we can let go of resentment.
We all have expectations and are allowed to make requests, but those requests may not be honored and that’s OK.
We can still love each other anyway!
“Not expecting things from others is the first step to preventing people from dictating how you live. Life is a two-way street—when you realize that no one owes you anything, you stop expecting people to owe you anything either” explains Psychology Today.
For example, I can ask my husband to wash the car, and he may do it or he may not.
If he does wash the car, I’ll love him.
If he doesn’t wash the car, I’ll still love him.
When my expectations aren’t met, I can choose to make it mean something negative like he doesn’t love or respect me, or he’s mad at me.
Or I can choose to make it mean nothing…because there’s a chance he simply forgot or he doesn’t feel like washing the car!
I can love him anyway!
If he doesn’t wash, there’s always another option…I can do it myself or even take it to a car wash!
When you people please, you get to decide if you like your reason for doing it and if it serves you.
If you don’t like your reason, you have the power to choose a different option!
Remember, you are allowed to say “no” and it may take a little practice.
TOPIC: How To Handle Expectations!
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